20/9/11: Naija Here I come!

The flight to Naija was as smooth as any flight full of aggressive-ass, edgy Nigerians could be. The air hosts didn’t seem to pleased at the fact the plane was full of Nigerians, and I must admit there was a lot of unnecessary hostility and backchat, but then why do we talk so loud and aggressively??? if we have a problem why cant we just say it calmly and politely rather than spitting it out like we have a bad taste in our mouths?. Apart from the pungent cloud of body odour that floated around the plane another thing that really pissed me off was how nosy peeps were. Whenever I would chat to my uncle people would actually crane their necks around their chairs to listen to the convo or stair at me because of my accent. What’s your problem?! mind your own bloody business?! I’m sure a few times I heard some haters mutter oyinbo but honestly I don’t care. I sure ain’t ashamed of where I’m coming from or where I’m going so rather than staring at me with some disgusted look on your face why don’t you go and fix that 10 naira weave then collect the oranges or pirate DVD’s you’re gonna sell in the market.

Jamming at the airports before and after the flights were quite amusing. For some reason people felt the need to behave barbarically and wrestle each other to board the plane, totally ignoring the seat numbers the flight attendants had called out. Lord knows nothing gave me greater satisfaction than to watch the most aggressive of the mob turned away once they reached the front (after fighting ruthlessly; tearing peoples clothes and stepping on their feet) because their numbers hadn’t been called! hahahahaha. Go to the back you beast! The funniest thing was that a lot of these peeps were old people who felt that because of their age they had the right to behave the most recklessly and treat people like scum. I’m sorry but I don’t care how old you are, respect is a mutual thing. Anyhoo after leaving the plane I had a strong feeling of regret, did I make the right decision coming here? people were already staring at me (many of which were male, yellow-eyed and charcoal-coloured) I mean I like being admired but this was just creepy! :s Plus the humidity was making me sticky and their was an overwhelming smell of something I cant quite put my finger on, was it medicine or insect repellent? Anyway to cut a long story short it took us 2 hours to collect our baggage, and throughout this wait I was vigilantly guarding the luggage trolleys my uncle had just purchased. It was clear that many a prying eyes were just waiting for me to drop my guard so they could swoop in for the steal.

Finally we get our luggage, which I was totally surprised about because I was sure it had been stolen, but unsurprisingly my suitcase had been brutalised to such an extent that a wheel was missing, KMT. One of the workers tried to make me open my suitcases as I left the airport but I just flashed her a cheeky smile, giggled and offered her some chocolate, to which she was pleasantly surprised and gave me a warm goodbye and wished me the best of luck with my NYSC.

Currently I’m settled with my fam in Ikoyi which is pretty cute. Nepa takes the light a lot but I just use it as a chance to dance around and burn loadsa calories. Losing weight seems to be a great deal easier in Naija 🙂 Thinking of getting my Zumba instructor certificate and making peas! Anyhoo I’m going Abuja early tomorrow to register for NYSC before the deadline. God willing this will be a smooth process… I guess one can dream :). Talk to y’all later xxxx


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